The Guilt Free Trip! (If there is such a thing)

"Whatever we have done, we can always make amends for it without ever looking back in guilt or sorrow." Eknath Easwaran

I regularly have contact with my fab friend in Australia who gives me fantastic support. This call is very important to me and something I have set up weekly to support my business and me. I relish the hour we have together and it helps me keep a much-needed connection and flow with work. However it is something I have chosen to do on a day when my daughter is not at pre-school. The juggling act begins in earnest! And is later on joined by guilt. Guilt that I'm not putting my daughter first, guilt that I'm not giving her enough attention, support, you name it. Sometimes the juggling act feels like a small tremor on my nervous system, at other times the strain of holding things together is about to blow.

Later on in the day, after one of these calls, I take my daughter to a Christmas Fair at her pre-school. One of the assistants starts chatting to her; she looks forlorn and says, "My mummy has been talking on the phone". The guilt thickens!

However I have found the following practice, over time, weakens the negative effects of guilt on me. I still have guilty times but I now get off it a lot quicker.

1. Let go, let go, let go! I tell myself I do my best right now, with what I know right now.
2. She is on her own journey. I am not her journey (I'm running my own race and so is she). I love and support her and we grow and learn together.
3. Finally, and this really helps calm me when I recognise that the guilt is getting a good hold, I keep saying "All Is Well"!

Happy Christmas Eve!

Warmest wishes,
Zoe

Comments

[Tracey C]

Hi Zoe, I thought this was a really insightful post. I think we all 'carry' guilt, whatever decisions and pathways we take. It's great to have these simple and effective coping strategies when, as you say, the guilt starts 'getting a good hold'. Thanks so much.

Wishing you and yours a prosperous and happy new year,
Tracey

[Teri Thomas]

Hi Zoe!

I think this is one of the biggest challenges we face as working moms. I know it is something I've struggled with for years. When you're working, you feel guilty for not giving your full attention to the children, and when you're caring for them, you feel guilty because you're not giving your business what it needs. A vicious and never-ending cycle. It also serves no one and just keeps us stuck!

I love what you're doing to support yourself through this time. It helps to think of what we're doing not in terms of life balance, but think in terms of life harmony. We will never be perfectly balanced with what we give any area of our lives, but we can achieve a harmony.

As your daughter gets older, she will be able to understand more about mommy working as you can talk more about how important it is to you. I know from experience! :) She loves you and will develop a healthy respect for you and the work you do.

Your daughter is so blessed to have you for a mom. What an example you are of pure love and positive energy! I know I feel blessed to know you!

I can't wait to see what 2009 brings us!

Teri