Yesterday I decorated the Christmas tree with my 3 year old. It's the first time we've done it together and it felt very special as I remember how excited I was as a child to decorate the tree with my mum and siblings. However, I was tempted to do it myself for various reasons:
- quicker
- less likely to be side-heavy
- I could make it look just the way I wanted it to
The list could go on. But then I mentioned this to my friend Kim, who has grown up children, and she inspired me to see this moment in time for what it really is - creating magic moments for the future.
Below Kim shares her experience of the ritual of decorating her Christmas tree.
They are almost grown up now, but at 16 and 21 years of age, they love this family tradition, and start asking the week before, “When are we doing the tree?”
The sense of ritual is strong. “Mum, you do the lights, then I’ll do the tinsel, then we can all do the ornaments. ” We decorate while listening to our favourite family Christmas CDs – A Wiggly Wiggly Christmas by The Wiggles is a must – after 10 years, it is still the number one choice! However, the selection now includes The Pogues ‘Fairytale of New York’ and various Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra classics.
We always laugh as the decorations made years ago at kindergarten and primary school come out – the angel with cotton wool hair, and the Christmas Bird made out of a pine cone the size of an ostrich egg – way too heavy to hang on the tree! (You can tell it’s a bird because it has coloured feathers and glitter.)
I remember all the times I was tempted to do the decorating myself. It would have been quicker and easier. The tree would have looked more like the ones you see in magazines. I remember the disagreements and temper tantrums that went on. I remember thinking that these children would never cooperate with each other. But somehow through it all, they learned how. It is incredibly satisfying to sit back now and watch them take charge, handing me a few ornaments to place on the tree, but mostly doing it themselves. They can even negotiate who gets to put the star on top without fighting about it!
I know this is a family tradition that will carry on year after year. I can see now the rewards of the time we spent doing things together when they were little. The times when it would have been easier and quicker to do things myself, but instead I chose to muddle through with my little helpers. Yes, there were tears and tantrums, but there were also smiles and laughter and eyes wide with wonder.
This year, there were no tears or tantrums, just lots of smiles and laughter and stories of Christmas past. And the best part? Seeing that their eyes are still wide with wonder. (Kim Wood, December 2008) KimWoodCoaching
Kim's experience has inspired me to see the importance of rituals and I look forward to creating more of them as my daughter continues to share her wonderment with me.
Happy decorating!
Warmest wishes,
Zoe
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